Dick Cheney Uses the Pot-Kettle-Black Defense

No longer needing to hide behind the face of G.W. Bush, Dick Cheney has recently come out of his bunker to do a flurry of interviews critical of the current president and democrats in general. Here are a few highlights.

In reference to Obama he has been quoted as saying, "I want the country to be less safe now that Obama is in office. Therefore, I hope a terrorist attack, like the one that happened when I was in office, could now happen. If thousands of people could die that would make republicans feel a lot better about their ideals."

In reference to torture he has been quoted as saying "Did you hear that Nancy Pelosi actually knew about the waterboarding that I suggested? We should totally ream her for the fact that she couldn't stop me." He added, "Isn't it hilarious that I'm totally free from punishment on this, but I can still nail someone who was powerless to stop me while I was doing it? Goddamn, I love being a republican."

Cheney has also been quoted in support of Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh, while holding a standing hatred of not simply gays and women, but gay women in particular, conceded on the topic 8 years ago: "excepting those homo-dykes related to powerful republicans." Cheney is reported to have attempted to tear up at the quote, but the attempt proved unsuccessful.

-MICHAEL BOUCHARD marvels at how Cheney has adapted so quickly to sunlight.

Liberals Worried About The Next Four Years

by Lorraine Cink

With the historic election of the first black President, Democratic candidate Barack Obama, liberals everywhere finally began to breath a sigh of relief.  However, now not only liberals, but comedians, bloggers, college students and even the elderly are concerned that there with be nothing to complain about for the next four years. At least we can rely on the shitty economy and California's Prop 8 to keep us going.

YES WE DID!