Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Dick Cheney Uses the Pot-Kettle-Black Defense

No longer needing to hide behind the face of G.W. Bush, Dick Cheney has recently come out of his bunker to do a flurry of interviews critical of the current president and democrats in general. Here are a few highlights.

In reference to Obama he has been quoted as saying, "I want the country to be less safe now that Obama is in office. Therefore, I hope a terrorist attack, like the one that happened when I was in office, could now happen. If thousands of people could die that would make republicans feel a lot better about their ideals."

In reference to torture he has been quoted as saying "Did you hear that Nancy Pelosi actually knew about the waterboarding that I suggested? We should totally ream her for the fact that she couldn't stop me." He added, "Isn't it hilarious that I'm totally free from punishment on this, but I can still nail someone who was powerless to stop me while I was doing it? Goddamn, I love being a republican."

Cheney has also been quoted in support of Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh, while holding a standing hatred of not simply gays and women, but gay women in particular, conceded on the topic 8 years ago: "excepting those homo-dykes related to powerful republicans." Cheney is reported to have attempted to tear up at the quote, but the attempt proved unsuccessful.

-MICHAEL BOUCHARD marvels at how Cheney has adapted so quickly to sunlight.

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