Thursday, September 11, 2008

Pastor Gate

by Michael Bouchard

As Rev. Wright did with Obama, and John Hagee did with McCain, so too Sarah Palin's Pastor, Larry Kroon (pictured left), is becoming an issue. Here are some of the statements recently made by Larry Kroon that are making waves, causing stirs, and getting large numbers of panties in bunches.

In a recent sermon, Kroon has claimed that the savior of the world is actually a Jewish zombie, born in what is modern day Iraq. In that same sermon he claimed that Jesus requested his followers to "Eat me".

In a written statement Larry Kroon has stated that Jews are wrong, Catholics are wrong, Hindus are wrong, Mormons are wrong, Baptists are wrong, Methodists are wrong, Lutherans are wrong, Jehovah's Witnesses are wrong, 7th Day Adventists are wrong, and that Muslims are a loving people, peace be upon them.

A disgruntled former follower revealed that the 'All life is sacred" warrantee only good until birth.  Also, in a private conversation with a hired hooker, Kroon confided that God created a perfect heaven where there is only happiness and none are condemned, and also created Earth where most will be consumed for eternity by unquenchable fire, gnashing of teeth and the species of worm that never 'dieth'. He chose to place you on earth.

In a new circulating YouTube video Kroon is found stating that the claim to hate the sin and love the sinner is actually void for homosexuals, abortionists, liberals, and all contrary religions. Offer is only good is select states: AK, TX.

-Michael Bouchard is a godless heathen. Larry Kroon loves/hates him.

No comments: