by Lorraine Cink
Thursday night Governor Sarah Palin and Senator Joe Biden faced off in the first and only 2008 Vice Presidential Debate. Mostly True News would like to offer you the highlights of what you may have missed:
-Sarah Palin broke the ice by asking Joe Biden if she could call him 'Joe' as they shook hands. Joe Biden cordially agreed.
-The moderator asked questions of both candidates. Sarah Palin, within the first three or so questions, said that she was not going to answer the questions the way you want. . . I just want to talk to the American people. She then said, 'I have cards to read that John gave me... this is the only thing I am allowed to say
. Joe six pack. Hockey moms. Alaska-Alaska-Alaska . I'm a normal American just like you!'
-No one can remember anything Joe Biden said for the first 30 minutes as a strange desire to sleep for 90 second increments took hold of viewers.
-Palin misquoted information about the wars abroad. Biden corrected her for which she chided him... proving you don't have to be right to look right.
-Biden held up a large sign that says 'McCain=Bush'. Palin held up a sign saying 'Palin=Cheney' (insisting that the Vice President's power should be expanded within our current system).
-Sarah Palin hurled accusations that Barack Obama voted against funding to the troops abroad. The SAME bill that McCain voted 'NO' on. Biden reminded her of this several times, but she continued to admonish Obama for doing EXACTLY WHAT MCCAIN DID! Do as McCain says, not as McCain Do's.
-Sarah Palin winked at the camera so much that the cameraman actually took his pants off.
-Near the debate's end, Biden became impassioned nearly to the point of tears talking about his sons' well-being (one of which is now serving overseas). Palin rebutted saying, 'John McCain is a Maverick!'. Seriously, WTF? It was at that moment, it was revealed that Palin was actually replaced by a robot since her last Katie Couric interview.
-After the finish of the debate, Joe Biden shook Sarah Palin's hand vigorously and went in for the goodnight kiss. Palin panicked awkward releasing his death grip and ran to the moderator for a good old fashioned cock-block. One of the members of her enormous brood stormed the stage and handed her her infant... proving that Palin is the annoying woman who brings her crying child out to your Saturday night movie.
Please take our poll at the top right of this page and let us know who you think won the debate!
--MTN will vomit if they hear the word folksy ever again.